Playful Rooted

Today is our five-months-in-France anniversary! It’s weird and cool and crazy, and since I’ve kissed more strangers than I can count in the past five months, I feel like I’m finally equipped to write this post.

We’ve all seen French people faire la bise (kiss each other’s cheeks) on TV, and it’s always so cute and charming. But in real life, I had no idea how things would really go. “Do I shake hands or kiss?” “How many kisses?” “Which cheek do I start on?” It was all a mystery to me. Luckily, I figured out quite quickly that when a stranger thrusts his or her cheek against yours, your brain goes into a merciful autopilot and things just work themselves out.

So though it’s not a cause for stress, there are a few rules to keep in mind.

Rule one: Kiss the apples of the cheeks. Any lower (or higher, I suppose), and things get a little weird.

Rule two: Kiss lightly. No lip smacking. Don’t linger.

Rule three: There are (almost) always at least two kisses – one on each cheek. There can also be three (the standard for Montpellier) or even four! In northern France, you start on the right cheek and end on the left cheek. In southern France, you start and end on the left cheek. It’s confusing and unpredictable and often makes for a good laugh. On that note…

Rule four: Don’t get embarrassed. People fumble over this all the time. There are so many variations and it’s easy to get hung up about it, but it’s not a big deal to French people at all. The only thing to do is laugh and move on.

Rule five: Though I’ve heard a lot of conflicting things, in my experience, men kiss women, even on first meeting. Women kiss men and other women, even on first meeting. And men kiss other men only if they’re close friends or family members. When in doubt, let the French person decide.

And after dealing with French bureaucracy for the past five months, that might be the only time I ever recommend that last part. 🙂

Happy kissing!